Chris

I handed her the folded, crinkled paper. She took it slowly, between her middle and index fingers. She looked down at the name, then back up at me.

I nodded and she carefully unfolded it, making sure not to rip or tear it. She read it to herself in a whisper. I had it memorized.

Dear Danielle,

I hope you can forgive me, but you probably won’t. I know I’ve done terrible things 

and that I’ve caused this. But you have no idea how much I regret what has happened. I need you to know that I love you, and I promise I will return. I will make up for this. I don’t know when I will be back, but I will. I swear on my life. If you don’t forgive me, I don’t blame you. Because I know I never will either.

Love, Chris.

“I wrote this when I brought you back to Jaclyn’s.” Danielle nodded. Her eyes were watery again.

She said nothing. She just folded the paper up and stuck it in her jeans. Eventually she grabbed me and pulled me into a kiss. A kiss more deep, more eager more passionate than ever before. Even before all the craziness.

I held her tight and close, things getting intense. Just like every other time, we both lost our breath. I couldn’t pull away. I wanted her. I needed her. My body burned for her. 

She was mine. I pulled away just for a moment, to look around. Nobody was here. Thank God. I took Danielle by the hand and lead her to the back of the pavilion, where the two bathrooms were. I pulled her into the girls’ bathroom and we continued our make-out session there.

Now I know a girls’ bathroom in a pavilion at a damn park is nothing fancy nor romantic nor sanitary but it’s all you got when you’re homeless. And that is where I claimed her mine. Again. If you know what I mean, I don’t need to go into detail.

After so long, she was rightfully mine once more. There was no greater feeling than that. But I still had a promise to keep. Having to go back and tell that story, to have to re-live those memories and feelings again… is not something to look forward to. 

At least after the ordeal was done, I wouldn’t be alone and things could go back to normal. How they were supposed to be. 

How I would take Erick’s life was simple. There was no way I could fight him, he was way stronger than me. He was only 3 inches taller than me, but he seemed to tower over me. 

I was glad to rid of him. Not as much as I was to rid Amber, but still glad. I always hated his blonde hair. A guy shouldn’t have blonde hair. It wasn’t right.

We were sitting on the couch, drinking bud light and watching football, like a couple of old friends. There were two problems with it; 1. I loathed Erick. 2. I hated sports. Especially football.

“Where’s my sister? Haven’t seen her since yesterday at dinner.”

“We stayed up late… you know… having a little fun. She’s still asleep.”

“You dog.” He laughed, “I didn’t need to know that but OK.” 

After a few minutes, he said, “Dude, get me another beer.” 

I nodded and headed into the kitchen, everything going just as planned. I snatched a beer can from the fridge and rummaged through the cabinet until I found the small jar I’d hidden in there just a few days ago. 

I popped open the beer can and sprinkled just a bit of the white powder into it. I re-hid the jar and returned to Erick, handing him his death sentence.

He took a sip. Then he looked at me, “Why was it open?”

“I stole a drink.” I grinned.

“No wonder why it tastes funny. It has your germs in it.” 

I gave him a fake little laugh. I really hated him. But soon he would be right where Amber was. And he suspected nothing. 

And, as hoped, by nightfall, he was gagging and puking every 10 minutes it seemed. His skin was pale and he had a fever of 112 degrees. 

He asked me to get him soup and a glass of water before he went to bed, and I did. And yes, I put more poison in both. 

Morning came. I went straight to his room. Checked for a pulse. Nothing. I punched the air and jumped a couple times, grinning like an idiot. I drug his body to the bathroom quickly, repeating what I’d done to Amber. Watching his blood fill the bathtub made me feel so ecstatic. I had to put his remains in a separate pillow case, Amber’s was full.

Once I was finished cleaning up, I took Amber’s pillowcase out of the closet and looked at both. I laughed a little, “Well I’m sorry it has come to this, Amber and Erick, but I assure you this is for good reason. You took me away from my love, and that couldn’t go unpunished. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”

I headed into the dark woods, pillowcases in hand. Eventually, I felt I was being watched and turned to catch two golden eyes glaring at me hungrily. 

If I remembered correctly, the house had been on a hill. Luckily there was one dirt path from the main road leading to where the hill was a smooth walk up. And no, 10 miles is not that a long way to walk in the woods but neither of us had eaten in 2 days so Danielle and I filled her backpack with granola bars, gummy fruits, crackers and many, many water bottles before starting off. 

“I remember you and everything about you now. But what about Jaclyn? When did I meet her?”

“You met her in middle school, you told me. By the end of middle, you guys were best friends. And all through high school it remained so. I never really liked her. Too controlling. Too bossy.”

“I know what you mean.” She sighed, “She made me feel like a stupid child the way she bossed me around and scolded me. What right does she have?”

“None.” 

“The only thing I really remember of her, well before I lost my memory, is her bashing my head against the tub. I’d had a dream of it a couple nights ago. Now I can remember the pain, the blood… the betrayal…”

“I’m sorry she did that to you… I swear if I knew she would I wouldn’t have brought you there… I’d do anything to take my revenge on her for that!” The anger coursed through my veins, fueling the want to bash her head against a tub and see how she liked it.

Let’s face it, I’m a monster. A murderer. Ever since I killed Amber and Erick, I want to kill everyone I hate or dislike the least bit. Which was a scary thought. 

“It’s okay, Chris. It wasn’t your fault.” 

“But it was! Everything was… and you deserved none of it…” 

“Everything happens for a reason, right? Some things are out of your control. You didn’t put a gun to anybody’s head and threaten them to do anything. So nothing is your fault.”

“You don’t understand. You don’t have to put a gun to someone’s head in order to make them do something. It’s all my fault. You’ll see.”

She said nothing in response. By then we’d reached the dirt road that lead into the stretch of woods, up the hill and to our hell. I wasn’t sure I was even close to ready to face it, but I had to. I had to show it to her. I had to tell her everything. I kept my promises.

At least, I keep the promises I make to Danielle. 

“Keep close to me Danielle. If you hear something in the woods or see any weird eyes or anything, tell me. I know there are wolves here. 

“Oh, great. Let’s head 10 miles in the creepy woods infested with wolves just to go up to the house where the people who tried to kill us live! Sounds like fun, let’s go!”

“Lived.” I corrected.

The rest of our 3 hour walk remained pretty quiet, enough time for me to think about what I was going to say. This was going to be difficult, but I made a promise. Halfway we stopped and ate what we packed and drank 3 bottles of water and were on our way again, the mid-afternoon sun burning down on us. Good thing I don’t get sunburned easily. Can’t say the same for Danielle.

“Chris… is that it?” She said, stealing me away from my thoughts.

Before us was a rather large house, 1 story. Dark chocolate brown roof. Very few windows. Pitch black inside. A shiver ran through me and I nodded. 

Danielle looked around, “This place makes me feel… odd. Unwanted. Unsafe.”

“Don’t worry, you’re always safe with me. Now come on.” 

We went up to the front door and I grabbed the door knob. Locked. They always had it locked. Wait, that’s right, I left through the back door. We trailed around to the back of the house, where I could’ve sworn I caught a face in the window. But when I looked up it wasn’t there. It must’ve been my mind playing tricks. I didn’t like this place the least bit.

Sure enough, the back door was open and I stepped inside. Danielle was reluctant, but followed. I felt around until I found the light switch and bright light flooded through the house.

Everything was just as I remembered it. 

The cherry wood bookshelf. The black velvet couch. The T.V., the kitchen, the bathroom. I even looked in Erick’s bedroom. Then there I was, standing before Amber’s bedroom. Where I spent most of my captivity. 

Danielle was laying on the couch, catching her breath and drinking from the last water bottle. I turned back to the door. Should I go in? Just to check things out?

“Chris.” A voice. Female. Hers.

It was all in my mind. I shook my head and placed my hand upon the handle.

“Just relax, Chris. I’ll make you feel amazing.”

The door swung upon before me. And there was the king-sized bed. Stained with my infidelity and sin. Even the handcuffs were still on the floor. 

Then I heard sniffling. I turned back to Danielle, but she was fine. Fighting to keep her eyelids open. 

There it was again. Went into the bathroom. 

“What would you do without me, Chris?” 

“Everything. I fucking hate you. Why don’t you understand?”

“But… Chris… I love… you…” and she’d started crying. But it was fake. It was all fake. A witch like her couldn’t feel pain. 

Nothing. Back to the bedroom.

“Why can’t you just go back to the way you were when I met you? All fun, happy, seductive… wild.” She giggled a little, then sighed, “But now you’re all grouchy all the time and you’re no fun in bed.” 

“I’m only fun if I like who I’m with.” Now it was my turn to chuckle.

“Then you must’ve really liked me… are you just being like this so you don’t piss off your precious Danielle? Even though all you did was complain about her that day. She’s not here, Chris. Get over it. You’ll never have to deal with the bitch again.”

“She’s not a bitch, Amber. You are.” 

I slammed the bedroom door shut and Danielle jolted awake, “What the hell was that?!”

“Sorry, I slammed the door a little too hard. Memories coming back.”

“Oh… come here and take a nap with me?” She yawned.

I smiled and joined her on the couch.

“I did all this for you. Don’t pretend you didn’t love it. Don’t pretend you didn’t want it. Don’t pretend you don’t miss it. That you don’t miss me.” 

Get out of my head.